I have lived experience of mental illness. Although this does not define me, it has had a profound impact on my life. In recovery, these experiences have been an opportunity for growth, understanding and learning. Being visible and proud in talking from the perspective of my lived experience is part of how I choose to try and help with destigmatisation.

I now research and practice trauma-informed, intersectional approaches to recovery and the management of my conditions. As an NHS Expert by Experience, I contribute to mental health service improvement. This includes taking part in workshops, events, conferences, steering groups and recruitment panels for NHS mental health professionals.

“Life meanders like a path through the woods. We have seasons when the leaves fall from us, revealing our bare bones.

Given time, they grow again.” (from ‘Wintering’ by Katherine May)

I make no taboo of what I have experienced and I’m happy to join a conversation where this may be useful in sharing knowledge or enhancing education. I’m passionate about diversity and inclusion and the need for ongoing listening. To see a reduction in stigma, fear and discrimination is something I hold great hope for. In 2021, I gave a talk on these subjects at the NHS & VCS Alliance conference ‘Better Care Together: Mental Ill Health in an Unequal World’.

Leaning into my own creativity has been a vital part of understanding and accepting my experiences. Regularly practicing writing and art has helped me to repair, heal and move forward with managing my conditions. Painting has also been a lifeline in times of fear and distress. The sanctuary of moving a brush over paper, sensing vibrant colours and shapes emerge has seen me through some long and frightening nights. I can identify the moments of hope in this image: a dancing fire, a sense of something being unleashed, perhaps an imaginary vision of a long night spent in the jungle. I also see a bird, kingfisher blue, rising up with vitality to reach for fresh air. Amongst the dark, sparks and fright ignited in my mind when I painted this, there was still hope for a bright, vibrant future. I now understand why my subconscious gave form to that bird on the page. No state is permanent. The brain, soul and body are expert healers given enough time, education, support and resources.